In January of 2011 we decided to start trying for another baby. With Sammy the only person who knew we were trying to have a baby was my best friend Robin. With this baby for some reason we told everyone, at least that's what it felt like. It took a couple months but in march of 2011 we found out we were pregnant. I announced it on Facebook and called our families. It was a happy time indeed. It was almost Sammy's first birthday too. There were a lot of happy things going on. About a week after finding out I was pregnant I woke up with awful cramps. Called the doctor and they ordered lab work. Confirmed that we had lost our baby. I was so lost. I didn't know what to do. The doctors up here were no help. A receptionist called to tell me I'd lost my baby I never even saw a nurse. And worst of all I called all my close friends to tell them what had happened. It was then we decided that we would wait to announce a baby if we get pregnant again. We didn't realize how fast it would happen. In April (yes one month later) we were pregnant again.
This one, I thought, had to be my miracle baby. It was my birthday baby. But the same thing that happened with the last pregnancy happened again. Woke up with cramps, blood work, receptionist called with bad news. I remember thinking that I wanted to stop trying because there was no way I could go through this again. I started seeing a family physician who said he would stick with me if I were to get pregnant again. Promised he'd tell me of I lost a baby not a stranger on the phone. I had him put me on a birth control pill. Because I was done. My husband and I did a lot of talking and we knew we didn't want Sammy to be an only child. We wanted another baby. In July we tried again and again we got pregnant and again suffered a horrible loss.
After this loss my doctor sent me to an OB/GYN. They ran loads of tests. Took vials and vials of blood. I had a special ultrasound done to see if there were any abnormalities. After about $2,000 worth of tests ($500 of which wasn't covered by insurance) it was concluded that I am fine and we just have a serious case of "bad luck." We were told to wait 3 months to allow my body to heal and try again. I'll admit I was beaten. And Jesse, I'm sure, was at a loss of what he could do.
I threw myself into school, Sammy, and throwing a bridal shower for my best friend. I tried to keep extremely busy do that the 3 month count down would go faster. It was horrible. The happy ending of the story is we did (finally) get pregnant, and stay pregnant! Jake is the miracle baby. And I am so very thankful for him. But what an awful year I'd love to forget.
I think we are done having babies. I would absolutely die if I had to go through that again. A long time friend of mine sent me an angel that said "things happen for a reason just believe" and as mad as it makes me that something so horrible had to happen I wouldn't have my Jake if it didn't.
I believe that the people who go before us watch over us and I feel better knowing my sons have 3 siblings to watch over them.
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